Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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