Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
