honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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