I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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