I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Randomize