my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
