if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
