I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Randomize
