I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
operation have a gay friend backfired
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
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