im six kinds of drunk right now
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
