Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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