Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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