I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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