Rock
Scissors
Fuck
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
third nipple confirmed
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
