Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
