you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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