did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
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