So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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