ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
