I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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