if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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