Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
