I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
