you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
