I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize