it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Floor bacon is actually really good
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize