bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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