Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Randomize
