This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
i think i just naturally attract stoners
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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