if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
