then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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