puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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