It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Randomize
