My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Randomize
