Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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