i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Randomize
