Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
