i just google imaged poop.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize
