I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
