Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
