Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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