Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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