All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
