im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
