its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
