I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
