I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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