on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
