In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
All the doctor said was why
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
