BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
