i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
