so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
