Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
