It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
You did what with his pubic hair?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
