TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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