this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
