Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
