we have pet lesbian snakes
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Randomize
