So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
