Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
