I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I'm experimenting with sincerity
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Randomize
