so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
