I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
