He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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