I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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