I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Randomize
