His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
