I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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