my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize