I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
