I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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