What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I'm too high and old for this...
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
